I'm reading more and more about Ötzi and I'm just amazed how much we got wrong. All the first guesses were way off the mark - first he is presumed as a hiker who lost his way in the 1930s, then he is said to be a medieval mercenary wearing shackles, then he is said to be heavily burned, or to have taken a fatal wound to the back of the head... at one point an expert guesses that Ötzi is an "escaped convict" who made his stone knife while on the run! His guess was based on the perfectly straight stitching on the leather, which, according to him, could only have been done with a sewing machine.

There is so much we do not understand. Until recently, Ötzi's bird belt was a total mystery. Researchers guessed it had "ritual or spiritual significance," which is just academic-speak for "beats the hell outta me." Turns out it's for holding onto dead birds during a hunting trip.

Ötzi's tattoos are a total mystery. To me these look like acupuncture points or some kind of body-medicine mapping, which would undoubtedly be labeled as "ritual or spiritual" but is, as we all know, just as real of a technology as toasters and wifi.

As I read further, the mystery just grows. Since Ötzi was found in a severe mountain pass, only experienced mountaineers can assess the archeology of the site. This is no Roman burial site turned up by a suburban British shovel. Only those practiced with ski pole and ice pick will ever see the pass where Ötzi fell. What kind of secrets are still sleeping in the glacier?